Ender felt terribly foolish for a moment - histrionic, over the top. He couldn't deny that it helped, though, Ben's solid warmth against him (and not just that part).

His people were alive. He'd chosen what he'd done. He should recognize that and own it.

Even if he couldn't shake the sensation that this situation was his responsibility. "I love you too," he murmured. "You know that much. I'm just a little wobbly."

"Sometimes even all my planning is for naught," Ender murmured. "I just need to remember that."

He sighed, his fingers settling up on Ben's neck, not quite coaxing him to do more of that but just sort of... there, appreciative.

"Nothing is lost," Ender said, "But this could have gone better." He slid his fingers along Ben's spine next, gently pressing his body against Ben's.

And none of his people had died.

Ender sighed softly. "Could've just gotten her impeached," he said softly. "But I guess that's all water under the bridge now."

He kissed Ben's cheek. "Thanks." With the tone his voice took, it might as well have been 'I love you'.

They hadn't really gotten near the actual issue that had Ender so keyed up, but in a strange, roundabout way, he felt more settled now. The need to be in control had faded.

"Mm, yes," he said quietly, and touched Ben's cheek. "I wasn't lying about you looking nice when you're damp and wearing a towel, though," he added.

"I got you to say 'fuck'," Ender added, kissing him. "Something good came out of this mess after all."

"That was something very hot," Ender replied, lazily rolling his hips against Ben's. "So I think I owe you," he added.

"Regardless," Ender said, though that had made him smile. "I cut us short... even though you've been nothing but terribly attractive. So that makes it your turn. Whatever you want."

"You're cliche," Ender said, "But I'm okay with that. Everything's been done already anyway."

He kissed Ben again. It seemed proper.

"Anything you've been thinking about?"

"Without spending too much time under the bed," Ender teased, sliding his thumb along the red on Ben's cheek.

"Terribly so," Ender said, kissing him to prove it. "A lot of the time."

Ender gasped softly, rocking his hips back. He dropped a kiss to Ben's jaw. "Don't let your ego overinflate," he said.

"I'll do my best," Ender promised. He slid his hands along Ben's sides, and squirmed not unhappily in his grip. "C'mere."

There were other things Ender could think of doing that involved their mouths.