Ender got where he wanted to be, struggling against what his body wanted to do; a few moments later, he was pulling back.

He took a breath, then leaned in closer again, running his tongue over him.

"I wanted to give it a shot," Ender said simply. He leaned back a little with something weirdly close to regret, reaching down to unbutton his shirt.

Ender stripped off the shirt and tossed it aside, his eyebrows raising up. "Are you sure about that?" he asked, sounding amused.

Or possibly still like he was in control of the situation.

Ender obliged and unbuttoned those, too, sliding them - and his boxers - down his hips. "Fine, fine."

"I'm going to have to actually move to get these all the way off," Ender teased back.

Ender laughed. It sounded more surprised than he'd been going for, and he wondered if he was putting up a front and it was slipping.

He moved - and only bunny-slid a little - and pulled off his pants, kicking them to the floor, too.

Then he pushed Ben back to the pillow and kissed him.

"Glad to hear it," Ender said. He chose the constructive option of shutting Ben up by sliding his tongue into Ben's mouth.

He wondered vaguely if he should move Ben's hands, since they seemed to be getting some thoughts of their own - then shook that thought. Since when did he think like that when they were doing this?

Ender sighed, responding by dipping his head back down and biting at Ben's nipple.

He wanted to push Ben down and finish what he started, except he suddenly wasn't sure that was exactly going to make him happy.

Sure, Ender almost said.

"I don't know," he murmured instead. "I've got a lot on my mind." He leaned down and brushed a kiss over Ben's heart.

"This mess in your universe," Ender said. "I guess I feel responsible."

A vague approximation of everything that was going on, but it was as much of a slip as he felt he could allow himself. Maybe more.

He felt the urge to take control of the situation again - felt some control over the situation - and released a breath. "Make me feel better?" he said, lopsided smile and all, purposefully leaving that one open for Ben to interpret whichever way he wanted.

"Didn't stop this," Ender said. He sounded a little out of breath.

Ender whimpered loudly, then dug his nails into his self-control. "We knew something like this would be coming."